His toes scared me.
I hadn't checked out his toes. I thought I knew him.
But he didn't have the toes I remembered, the toes that excited me.
Those toes! When I first saw the toes--my heart held its' breath
while I pledged to love always--I'd found the guy. those toes.

Here I am after spending last night with the fellow, and playing
'how many times in one night?' .
Enough times for mr. Cryogenic to warm up by morning.
He left and I was left unable to function... all day swept away
conjuring up the all-night-long: 'how together can we get game'.
I tried to recall how pretzel-like we were. It seemed impossible.

When I first saw the toes, (the other guys toes, the neptune ruling toes)
--my heart held its' breath
while I pledged to love always--I'd found the guy.
Oh, my! I thought I knew him. I thought I was so smart and aware;
and had uncovered his disguise by noticing the similar tummy
atop long slim legs. Oh no. His toes scare me.

I mustn't acknowledge my sudden apprehension... I mustn't make him go away.
I like having him around. His body twisted around me in the night holding
onto me like a crab holds onto his meal... under water. I was under water
all night long. It felt so comfortable. His holding me so tightly was unfamiliar and
yet, he isn't the one. He doesn't have the toes I saw that night of
the Holiday Inn Room 21 filled with unearthly shimmering lights of joyous hearts
bounding together with pleasure I had never imagined.

thanks god for allowing me that vision, feeling, promise, connection,
link to the gods jolly glandular tryst. oh joy.
I searched and searched and thought I've been found and no.
The other messenger from the gods had a first toe bigger than his second toe.
Or is his magic so powerful he can have me: see: 'what ever she want/needs to see".

Buck did tell me: "baby, we'll say anything to get in."
Buck was smart... he told me so himself. Being a John Hopkins dude
while still a child, granted a big child. oh lala.