conflict and control... for reference and from loving pure love

Conflict ----------------------------------------------------------Individual perceptions. Many of the difficulties and disagreements we have with other people are based on the highly individual nature of our perceptions. Addicted to conflict. If you are addicted to conflict then this will be evident by the battlefield you find yourself in. If you prefer to choose harmony, then the pleasure will be all yours. Self attack. The more a person attacks, the more he needs understanding and the more you should reach out and reassure him. When somebody is attacking another, they are really attacking themselves . . . their fears, their guilt, their own perception of powerlessness. Expressed anger. In many cases, anger is nothing more than an attempt to make someone feel guilty. Mind your own business. Work only on your own growth and let your partner take responsibility for their own growth, or lack of it. Addictive reactions. It is usually your partner's addictive demands that are the immediate practical cause of their separating emotions, not the things you say or do. Practice letting go. Your trust in the power of unconditional love increases as you use the challenging sparks of your disagreements to practice letting go of addictive demands. Avoid pointing out another's addictions. Don't play teacher by working on your partner's head. Avoid your ego's tendency to tell your partner how "wrong" they are. Pinpoint specific emotions and addictions YOU are experiencing. Remember also to use "I" language, such as "I felt angry when you . . . ," instead of "You made me angry when . . ." Meeting of minds. Disagreeing is a way of thinking. The opposite of disagreeing is understanding. Disagreeing involves comparing your old thinking to what is being said. Understanding involves looking for the new in what's being said. When you act out the thought process of disagreeing, you argue. When you act out the thought process of understanding, you become more intimate and attain a meeting of minds. Tenacious warriors. Divorce for a "things" orientated person becomes a battleground in which they feel the need to prove themselves the most tenacious warrior by getting as many things as possible. Those with a dollar-orientated personality find it becoming the master of their life. Great expectations. Conflict originates when you expect the world to be the way you want it to be and you find yourself upset because things aren't going the way you want them to go, or as they used to go, or even worse, how you insist they go. What are you trying to prove? You will eliminate conflict and confrontation as you begin to find it unnecessary to prove yourself to anyone. Defensive reinforcement. When people's attitudes are attacked head-on, they are likely to defend those attitudes, and in the process, reinforce them. So clearly, it is wiser to reinforce a positive attitude rather than attack a negative one. Simple misunderstanding. All disagreements are results of misunderstanding someone else's level of consciousness. This is why other people seem "wrong" when their perspective on life doesn't match your own. All of us are at different levels of understanding and growth. When you become aware of these differences and are able to allow and accept them, you have raised yourself to a higher level of consciousness. Domination. Conflict is the workplace of the ego. When you obey the ego's need to dominate others, you are guaranteeing the emergence of conflict. The addictive demands of the ego convinces you of your need to win the conflict in order to prove your superiority. Acting in a controlling manner may provide brief episodes of ego-gratifying experience, but these episodes cannot lead you to a more satisfying, purposeful way of life. Your relationships will always suffer and you will feel a sense of emptiness and being "off purpose" as long as you habitually react to addictive demands of the ego. It's not all bad news. There are around six billion people on this planet. Around three million are at war with each other. Only three million out of a population of six billion. That means there are over 5.99 billion who are not at war. That's a hopeful statistic that our ego's (and those of the media), do not want us to consider. The collective ego consciousness of the planet strives to keep the populace nervously on the edge with fearful reminders of how the world is out to get them. It's a mind-set of "Us versus Them." This ego viewpoint not only reinforces the insane escalation of ways to kill each other, but is also responsible for most of our social problems. A friend from 23 years ago...
the daughter I used to play with...
me on the ground
legs in the air
with a fairly large wee one
giggling so much my oldest daughter said:
"mom I can't wait to have a baby so you can play with it"
She still isn't a mama.

My friend's daughter is in Indy for a year.
Staying with Abuela's ...
asked me to introduce her to theatre here.

I have seen three shows this weekend. All quite fine.
excellent professionalism, portrayals,
my goodness. I'm reminded of my often response to theatre here in Indy.
Excellent. There is lots of talent in town.