red jelly

When she was 5 she wiped up the red plum jelly with the dish towel and put
the towel back on the rack. Went out to play with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Mommy and Daddy looked at the red sticky globs
of unknown substance on the towel and after her brothers and sister were
in bed they asked her to come to the kitchen for a talk.
They seemed so serious. It felt ominous. What could the talk be about?
The talk turned out to be about what they supposed was on the towel.
This happened when you were an infant. We have been waiting for it to happen, again.
"I wiped up the jelly that dripped off my sandwich. I thought it would be alright to wipe up the jelly with the towel."
"Is that it? We thought it was blood. You had your first blood when you were an infant. We thought something was wrong then but Dr. Elliot came to the house and said you just had an over-abundance of hormones. This is normal for older girls. Please tell us
when you begin your menstrating."
She was uncomfortable with this talk. So. When she began menstrating
at 9, she hid it. She hid the bloody panties under the sink in the dark,
in the bottom of her dresser drawers, in the cold air ducts. She used
folded up toilet paper when she had warning and need. She hid it for months.
Until her mother wanted to know where all her panties were.
"where are all your panties? I am doing the laundry and you do not have any panties. Show me your drawers.
And the little girl did--show her mom the now stiff and near black-red panties.
Then the mom, again uncomfortably, instructed the girl in menstral hygiene.
When the girl now a woman of 35 with 3 growing children of her own
began writing about hiding her panties from her maother she
had a vivid daydream, an uncanny sensation/memory of another
place, a different time when in her youthful excitement of announcing her
blood, being sold the next day to be used and silent
No longer a Child.