jackson on the fringe

from the Fringe FEstival of plays in Indy last week... meeting folks from
India, Australia, all over the U.S. and Canada... I also met a fellow who
wants to work with me on some project for next year. this is some of what this is about.

I see a gurney since I currently have a hostess with the mostess and a
leg shattered by a damn dumb gun...
I want to laugh and cry and sing and see smiles.
some art. some multi-media possibilities.
who are the characters? what is the story?
entertain. I'm not an actress I was told by Demetrius... You are an
entertainer June.
whatever happened to Demetrius? Went off to NYC to attend the
Dramatic Art something or other which had an alumni including
oh la-la Marlon Brando.
He was my young black gay roomie when he was first here in Indy.
alas.
Ideas, topics, events, how timeless and how current
focus. lots of worthwhile and happy work ahead.
below is some of what I've been working on for Jackson, my buddy who
died last full moon. A good day to die.


that's not quite it either... my daughter insists I cry
I don't feel like it. the weeps gets to me nanosecond speed.
then I say/think/feel:
Why cry? ... it's a beautiful day to die.

I lost an excellent friend.
he was an constant chronicler/communicator.
and now I am wondering about the lesson for me

I left the guy at 4:30 and was ruminating on how very well he looked.
I thought it looked like he was going to be around for awhile.
Numerous cat-of-nine-lives kind of guy...
I drove his car. He bought it from me -- I couldn't plate it nor insure it at the time.
I sold my humble home and left the states for south of the border.

We shared an interest in Maya and anything to do with Mayan..
and yet, I found it difficult to talk with him. WE were both Gemini Ox's
and life path 5 and 13 years apart... I found it a wonder. He was a
big drinker. I don't drink.
I told him, I didn't have much of a choice when I was a kid --about
being around drunks, but I did have a choice now.

He had friends from all over the world and all over his past.
He was speculating about death and god lots. oh golly gee.
his mama wanted him to accept Jesus so much she lived to almost 100.
She was still wanting him to accept Jesus.
My near death experience
didn't have Jesus in it.

I told him God loved him anyway... There was lots of ThaT, LOVE
lucky for me I read C.S. Lewis' THE GREAT DIVORCE
both before my father died and before my divorce.
I recall the pictures in my head of the place where Napoleon was
still walking into vacant rooms wishing he hadn't invaded Russia... for millions of
wishing.
After my father died, and came to me one evening surrounded by
all the fearsomes a fundamental preacher could put into a young boy...
I could tell daddy: "Go to the Light Daddy. I forgave you. I love you.
Go to the light of universal love."
Lewis painted a wonderful picture of acceptance after death... Lewis being
one who came to that acceptance after a long life of not bothering

anyway back to Jack. what a slob... God loves him anyway.
I would go over sometimes lots
and sometimes not.
I told the man who owned 100 pair of sox to 'change them';
I picked up clothes and threw them into the washer and the dryer.
(I didn't do the laundry -- after living in Brasil and Mexico... I know
the washer and dryer do the laundry)
and he had lived in those places, both primitive and exotic,
twenty, thirty years before me. He tracked me via email while I
was 'out-of-town'.

When Jose Luiz in Cuiaba, Brasil found the escargot snails, Jack
did some research for him regarding farming and marketing
these big fat snails.

When Edson in Ituverava wanted to come to the U.S., Jack
offered to help.

When Terresa in San Miguel de Allende wanted organic corn seeds...
Jack sent them.

I Mowed his lawn with the mower my oldest daughter gave him.
He was so impressed. He was one who 'made do'
He went to the hardware store to see what the mower cost.
He was so impressed. "June, she paid $300 for that mower and gave it
to Me!"

I didn't know how to make a pie. Alas. Jack
mentioned the great pies his mother made. I tried and he
liked the apple pie I made. It wasn't so hard.
sugar and cinnamon, butter and apples.
I washed the dishes, checked the fluids in the car and drove to his place
whenever he wanted to use the car. for the bank or the liquor store.
god loves Us.

I would buy lots of little chocolate treats when at the store.
I haven't done that for a month now.
Jack's dog has lost 5 pounds since he passed over.
Which is good. Her little min-pin legs were stressin carrying all
that weight.

Jack was a hermit. He didn't go outside. After his 'attack', after he
got out of the hospital, after he had learned how to talk with his
esophagus paralyzed, after he was trained on taking care of his
feeding tube, he invested time and energy in barricades for his house.
Penny the min-pin didn't go outside either. What a mess.
He trained her to go on a mat. Occasionally he would bleach the
whole thing.
I took her for the occasional walk. Three times Jack went with me.
Walk. PLease go outside. Penny will go outside if she gets outside.


So here I am
without a car for sure for sure... no one would get under the car again.